1364. 9th Sep - G-String & Glo worm; Scotsman's Pack
(Hathersage)
And the prize for best attendance goes to…
…G-String and Glo worm, they’ve been with us for almost a
year now and I can’t remember a hash where at least one of them didn’t show
up. If records and eyesight can be
believed then this was the fourth Hash they have set and so it was over to them to
lead us around Hathersage on this Autumn-y evening.
Runners were plenty, parking spaces not so much, after we
had filled the pub car park the streets copped for it. The search for parking
spaces meant that a headcount couldn’t take place until we got to the snacks, 4
or 5km in, I think it’s ok to do a headcount at that stage. Anyway by some reckoning there were 21
hashers and 3 dogs.
Special mention to Lunar who thought she was rid of her
troubles when Monty retired, only to find that he had passed the torch or
lipstick to Brody (aka lost lad). Alas any thoughts about outliving /
out-hashing Lost Lad may prove futile as the yet to be handled ‘Tilly’ seems to
be triple mad for it.
Anyway, back to the run, in the most refreshing of changes,
G&G, or J&J in real life, led us left out of the pub, avoiding the
usual hill and 30 seconds of speculation at Little John’s
grave. I did speculate the cost of the wall repairs to the unfortunate local
who fell foul of the floods, then it was over the road and calling on on in the
middle of an otherwise quiet and bewildered neighbourhood.
The purists met the cheaters aka Raw Hide, Lunar and the
Apprentice (congrats on excellent GCSE results by the way) on the Sheffield
road. From there we were checked across the road and on on up towards Scraperlow
plantation. The hill separated the wheat from the chaff and allowed the
apprentice (perhaps The Graduate now) to perform a long check all the way back
to Ringinglow road. The older but probably not wiser waited for the checkers to
do their work then headed left.
Retired checker ‘Shunter’ chuntered for a few minutes atop
the hill about having set the same burns night hash three times with Hashers
failing to complete it an equal number of times. I am already looking forward to next
year’s burns night / best mutiny competition hash. (At
least one shot of Shunter’s whisky must be consumed for the mutiny to count.)
A stunning quagmire awaited us by the farm, many a muddy set
of ankles were created, hopefully they’ve not had new carpets fitted in the pack. Further along the route , the Apprentice was
proved morally correct in that we did finally cross Ringinglow Road, headlights (mainly petzl G-String) at this
stage seemed to be multiplying.
We were eventually led to Higger tor, if my analysis and
matching of the contour lines on Strava with those on the dodgy OS app (wink)
was correct. Snacks of the baked variety
and bags of sweets awaited us. The dogs
and their respective owners kept their distances whilst the hashers grazed.
Energy levels restored, headcount complete and without any
serious dog-on-dog violence we headed back towards the bright lights of
Hathersage.
Upon arrival at the Scotsman pack we stepped into a parallel
universe with people almost looking like us occupying the area occupied by us
and in fact talking with each other amongst us, at first we worried that they
had been missed in our rigorous head counting procedure but then realised it
was our parallel-selves aka the Fat Boys.
With the pub now full with runners chat ensued about the
location of the diary, next week’s run (Build it and they will come was the
advice), the away weekend, MTB fear of heights coaching and of course thanks to
our hares for a great route and snacks!!
On on,
Sticky Shaft
Afterthought – Pearls of Wisdom, in lieu of actual attendance,
from ye olde Captain to ye olde or ye tired-ey hashers.
1. Always check the calendar before setting out: hashes are
on Mondays, remember.
2. Always check the blog too: turning up at next week's pub
won't bring you any advantage.
3. Don't forget your head torch: carrying it in your pocket
will remind you to charge it before next week.
4. Don't warm up: you've only got such much energy, dammit.
5. Start at a brisk walking pace: you can always slow down
later.
6. Each time you see some flour shout "on on": it
creates the impression you're still involved in the trail, albeit distantly.
7. If your head torch is working turn it off each time you
stop for a wee: you're on a hash, not starring in the Full Monty stage show.
8. Try to get to the hash rest before all the jelly babies
are finished: better still carry a packet with you just in case.
9. Up hill sections are YOUR time: others will be walking
too.
10. When you get back to the pub, check it's still open
before getting changed: you can always drive home in wet clothes.
And a final thought: despite all the above just be grateful
you can still get out on a Monday night; you know you'd miss it if you
didn't. ☘️☠️
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