#1150 An evening at Charlie's

So this was it, the highlight of the Hash Summer Season, a Barby at Charlie’s.  Hashers came from far and wide, some cycled; Fast Eddy and Spiv, some came by automobile; Mincer, BDD, Captain Morgan to name but a few, Queen Squiggle and your Scribe decided to run and were conveniently rescued by S&R just before the final ascent at the Rising Sun*.

Alas this was to be Vagitarian’s last Sheffield Hash, for 2019 at least, so what better than to show her the beautiful countryside on S10’s doorstep.

Liz has spotted some nefarious looking characters...

With meat and beer stored in Captain Colon’s garage we ventured off towards forge dam.  The Colon was up to his usual tricks and led us on a merry dance, where we found ‘Hash Home’ and an ‘X’ which were both to be used later. We finally worked our way West to the first crossing point at Quiet Lane, the intention was to wade up the stream where flour had been placed on protruding rocks.  Shunter needed little encouragement to do this and was soon knee deep under the bridge, most of us took the dry route and shouted words of encouragement to our amphibious friend. Mincer later claimed he had took the wet route but this was doubtful and with no credible witnesses his claims were dismissed.

Spiv recounted a tale from the vaults when Uglyman and him had been in a Hash relay, Spiv had to navigate the river and Uglyman the paths.  Needless to say Uglyman followed the correct path and Spiv took a wrong tributary ending up in Ranmoor.

Meanwhile back on trail Search and Rescue spotted the flour on a discarded dog poop, this led us back across the road and along Carr bridge foot path.  When I say ‘we’ I mean Queen Squiggle, Search and Rescue, Vagitarian and Sticky Shaft. In the time elapsed waiting for the others, we rediscovered the earlier X and used it as God had intended, checked every other path and eventually found our way back on trail, heading up towards Hangram Lane.  At this point the other Hashers began to appear, apparently Shunter had gone the way of Spiv and needed some encouragement to find his way out of the stream.

HRH going the right way

Looking to make up some ground Mincer and Spiv attempted a shortcut straight up the hill; photographic evidence is available.  Big Daddy’s Daughter showed us her superior athletic prowess and raced Mincer via the correct route to the stile, needless to say his short cutting did not grant him victory.

SCBs!!

With the pack reassembled we headed up the hill and passed some Jersey cattle where our presence did not so much as disturb their cud chewing; word must have spread that we are no match for the Bovine Mafia. We had a short stint on Ringinglow Road than CC looped us back in and over a previously crossed path.  Prof put in a mysterious appearance as a front runner, the short cutting was shameless that evening.

We eventually found ourselves on Trap Lane a few cards short of a full deck, so to speak, calls were made, directions were issued - by Mincer no less. A few of us shot off on the trail through Blue Bell woods. Those who had laughed at the mere suggestion of head torches earlier were ominously silent at this stage, everyone seemed to be on the look out for the tree root which would spoil their evening.  At this point we passed a crop of houses where S & R enthusiastically told us about her family connections to both one of the houses and a nearby murder that took place 70 years ago…the pace quickened.

Before we knew it we were back at Forge Damn and attention turned to the feast that awaited us.  We converged on Captain Colon’s bar and grill at around 9pm, the fire pit was hot and the Pogues provided the soundtrack.

BBQ in full swing

Segregation of carnivorous from vegetarian treats was not exactly watertight and relied heavily on Prof’s tolerance and any flexitarian instincts he may or may not have had.  As an observation I think this is the first barbecue where I have seen all of the food cleared from the grill, there’s usually one poor chargrilled chicken wing remaining but this was a massacre on a scale never before witnessed, Captain Morgan even tried to cook the plastic between his burgers.

Not so much as a solitary sausage

There was a strong correlation between the increase in beer consumption, sightings of passing space stations and levels of gullibility of the uninitiated. Magic could happen in Captain Colon’s fairy garden and as the evening progressed stories were swapped, promises made, Pippa was overfed and final goodbyes were said to our summer visitor Vagitarian.

Fortunately for CC’s neighbours we did not burst into the traditional Hash goodbye chorus of ‘F off you C’, but there were plenty of commitments made to Hash in Madrid and vice versa.

So I’ll end here with thanks to Captain Colon for hosting us and final 2019 goodbyes to both Vagitarian and headtorch-less runs.

On On,

Sticky Shaft

*….my apologies to the previous Strava record holders of ‘Stumperlowe View Climb’ and ‘Tesco Hill Climb’….S & R drives too fast!