January 2019

1121. 7th January - Smittie, Wisewood Inn, Loxley
1122. 14th January - Skidmarks, Two Sheds, Crookes
1123. 21st January - Pingu, Dore Moor Inn, Dore
1124  28th January - Captain Morgan, The Sportsman, Lodge Moor

December 2018 runs

1118. 3rd December - Monty's batman, The Angler's Rest, Bamford
1119. 10th December - Crystal Tips, Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese, Castleton 
1120. 17th December - Christmas Hash, The Ball, Crookes ;        Theme=Movie Characters. 7.15 for 7.45 start. Curry at Jaflong.
24th December - Christmas Eve (No hash)
31st December - New Year's Eve (No hash)

           

Hash 1118 - 3rd December - Monty’s Batman - The Anglers Rest, Bamford

A Hash favourite; ‘The Anglers Rest” was the start point of choice this week.  Monty and his trusty sidekick ‘Batman’ had set this week’s trail to who knows where….

A blasé approach was taken towards head counting, possibly due to the Percy Pudders being too eager to show off their luminous hats.  In any case I reckon we numbered 12 at the start and 16 at the end, so an average of 14….

There were local rumours that the trail had been set days before, this was backed up by witness accounts, so off we set in the direction of said rumours.

A cleverly devised ploy to get none Percy Pudders to do all of the checking was soon forgotten as enthusiasm kicked in and we swarmed the streets of Bamford looking for the trail.  We did a right then a left which took us to that lovely section of the Derwent which I always forget to go and visit in summer and daylight.

We then traversed the field towards Thornhill trail, we had seen this before somewhere…could it be that Monty’s Batman had simply lifted an earlier trail set by S & R and Soggy B? (note to self visit Thornhill trail on the bike,  in daylight, one day)  A deceiving check did suggest that we were indeed going to repeat a recently done trail….Hash Piracy!

But no, he tricked us and took us to the reservoir wall and across where we were greeted by another check, there were some complaints that the check was not positioned centrally on the stone circle onto which it had been placed…trail setting standards are high! By this point we had gained hashers, notably Uglyman who seemed to appear from another run off Win Hill.

Just as we were preparing for the climb up to Bamford edge, "On On" was called from the track down to Lydgate lane, from there we followed the lane round to have a practice ascent of the hill which features in the Hurtle. As we were crossing the road a car beeped us, no doubt in appreciation of Uglyman’s bare legs.

A gap in the hedge allowed us to trespass start the ascent of Bamford edge, at which point the hare revealed, by whatsapp, that he had left crucial navigational equipment somewhere on trail….how very lapse!  This was soon spotted by Big Daddy’s daughter, under a tree, with a light and more importantly with the hash treats.  Jealously over the deliciousness of the snacks soon turned to scorn and comments such as, ‘his wife’s made this’, particularly amongst those of us who buy pre-made, pre-packed snacks!

At this point Spiv turned up and it was discovered that he had been the beeper in the car.

Post snacks we did a bit of star gazing on what was a beautiful, clear crisp evening, the odd shooting star was spotted, wishes were no doubt made. There followed a scenic run across the top of the edge (note to self: visit that sticky out, slabby type rock in daylight) and we soon reached the descent.
The steep climb to Bamford Edge
A check took us off New Road to what could only be described as the signature section of the Hash….or not.  A slippy steep concrete path took us HH bound, most people opted to proceed with care and still slipped, Prof decided to leg it all the way down and came out miraculously unscathed.

A quick right at the end took us back to the pub car park, a quick change into our dancing shoes and we were pub bound.  Our Hare and Monty were sat there looking relatively famished given that the pub was not serving dinner, fortunately a knowledgeable local could advise on which crisps were most calorific….chatter to quickly turned to who was wearing what on the Christmas Hash…..

Great Hash, Great Conditions, Great Snacks!

On On,

Sticky Shaft

PS It was later discovered that his wife had indeed made the Hash Snacks and jealousy continued to persist.

The Winter Hash Training (Un-)Camp 24 November 2018

So what is an un-camp? Well, it’s like a hash training camp but without the camping. Jim the Prof came up with the idea when it became clear that no one was actually going to organise a winter training camp this year.

In response, seven of Sheffield finest athletes (surely some mistake – ed.,) assembled at Hunters Bar bus stop on Saturday the 24th to await the 272 to Castleton. Prof was last to arrive but came just in the nick of time to avoid the chaos of a hash without a hare. Disappointingly, the 11.59 was not a double decker so no singing on the top deck ensued; but we managed to commandeer the back seats and so set off on our big adventure in fine spirits.

How come Michael Portillo hasn’t featured the Sheffield to Castleton bus ride as one of his epic journeys? (Because it’s a bus, not a train – get on with it). Anyway, it’s a pretty stunning journey which includes detours to Bamford and Bradwell (of which, more later). Search and Rescue and Caroline joined us at Hope, having driven the baggage train consisting of everyone’s changes of clothes to a strategic point near the finish. Thanks, Sally.

Eventually, we de-bussed in Castleton and made straight for the George where we raised a commemorative glass to our friend Billy the Bee. Then it was time to receive Prof’s detailed briefing and team talk. Actually, I blinked and missed the briefing but Spiv bought me a very nice pint of Bombadier, so it wasn’t all a complete waste of time. Once fortified, we left the pub into the teeth of an icy wind that made leaving the pub seem a silly idea. Prof had pre-set the route two days earlier with gluten free flour. Given the intervening rain, this seemed a bold move. But at least it meant he could run with us and point out where the flour used to be.

Up the hill out of Castleton we went in dribs and drabs. Soon Mincer remembered he'd left his hat drying by the fire in the George and had to go back. Remarkably, he did re-join us quite soon afterwards; my money had been on him staying by the fire watching his hat dry. But perhaps you shouldn't judge everyone by your own low standards. We skirted round the cement works in Hope and headed up country again in the general direction of Bradwell. I heard Madge tell Caroline a very interesting story about farting in cars on long journeys but I won't detain you by repeating it here. Somewhere en route Spiv took a very good picture which made it look like we were on a run rather than a pub crawl.
An athletic looking pub crawl!

First stop was The Bowling Green Inn, a very pleasant hostelry (or refugio) indeed. Of course, exhausted by our two mile run to get there, we had to take a rest and more liquid on-board. Trunks was on the G and T as a warm up for the Bloody Mary he had later. Smittie was warming to the task of out-drinking us all very nicely and was beginning to smile benignly as befits the Hash Meister. 

Refreshed, we set off once more but only round the corner to the Shoulder of Mutton where we found we were exhausted again and had to take more drink. Desperado had talked earlier of being too exhausted to run at all. But there he was, third pub in and still standing. The adrenalin had kicked in. There was some discussion of finding another pub in Bradwell to be exhausted in but without really deciding anything we wandered off across some muddy fields to Brough and The Traveller's Rest on the Hope Road. 

Here Caroline was lured away by a convenient bus stop; a superb team effort succeeded in stopping a 271 to Crosspool and off she went. The Traveller's was busy with young people who, it emerged, had been caving under the watchful tutelage of Hannah and Chris (or so Search and Rescue tells me). Small world; and small range of beers too at that pub so I brought the smallest glass of whiskey which I'd ever been served. Trunks didn't mind: a Bloody Mary is the same the world over. 

It was now quite gloomy outside. Nonetheless, the intrepid hashers pushed on into the wind and incipient rain, minus Madge who had decided her pass out had now expired. She said she would wait in the pub until the next bus came. But who knows? She may have joined the young cavers on their weekend course.

True to their art the Sheffield H3 declined to follow the easy road route to Hope preferring instead the cross country trail allegedly set by Prof. I certainly saw lots of cow pats but not much flour. But at last the lights of Hope came into view and there was the baggage train waiting by the Church with lovely dry clothes inside. A quick change in the historic graveyard and into the Spar for, you guessed it, more drink. The Curry Cabin was small but perfectly formed and the food was excellent. Some people ordered the hanky of the day which was a puzzling choice. Hannah and Chris joined us there, having left the young cavers behind. We all agreed that this had been a reet good day out. So thanks, Prof for organising it all and here's to the next one.

Capt Morgan.

November 2018 runs

1114. 5th November - Trunks, The Maynard, Grindleford
1115. 12th November - Spiv, The Shepley Spitfire, Totley
1116. 19th November - Copper Job, Hare and Hounds, Dore
24th November- Winter Training, Hope Valley - contact Prof for details.
1117. 26th November - Captain Colon, Bagshaw Arms, Norton

October 2018 runs

1109. 1st October - Steamy Knickers, The Sir William, Grindleford
1110. 8th October - Smittie, Hammer and Pincers, Bents Green
1111. 15th October - RED DRESS RUN! Captain Colon, Sheffield Tap, Sheffield station
Meet from 7.15 for quick drink and 7.40 prompt start
1112. 22nd October - Prof, Old Hall Hotel, Hope
1113. 29th October - Shunter, Guzzle micropub, Woodseats

September 2018 runs

Remember a headtorch!
1105. 3rd September - Skidmarks, Miners Arms, Eyam
1106. 10th September - Soggy Bottom and Search & Rescue, Yorkshire Bridge Inn, Ladybower
1107. 17th September  - Desperado, Miners Arms, Dronfield
1108. 24th September - Shunter, Rising Sun, Abbey Lane

#1107 Miner's Arms, Dronfield Woodhouse

Hare: Desperado

Amazingly, after over 1100 runs, this was a new venue for us and there was plenty of room in the car park (future hares please note). It was a perfect night for hashing, warm with clear skies, as a modest sized pack set off under a rising half moon with Mars low on the southern horizon. We were soon in perfect hash territory, off road and teased by falsies heading off into woodland over an intricate construction of elongated footbridge and stiles before Capt Colon found the true trail heading, inevitably, uphill. By now Saturn was becoming visible below the moon and it was fitting that Comet Skidmarks appeared over the northern horizon for the first time before disappearing in search of lost flour. This was, as the best hashes are, becoming a run of deception through the sunken lanes and hedgerows of these parts, reminiscent of the Normandy Bocage. We were soon hopelessly lost and the pack resorted to milling about and discussing Brexit. For all I know because I was at the bottom of the adjacent field with Captain Colon discussing Red Dress Runs before peering through a hedgerow. Miraculously, there was a blob of flour on another sunken lane, so on on was called without bothering to look for further evidence. That is how I can claim to witness the second sighting of Comet Skidmarks before he disappeared again in cloud of sweat and dust. Much later we came out of this miasma at Barlow Fishponds, a regular feature of hashes many moons ago.

To the relief of all a bag was found containing the latest offerings from the boffins at Bournville (popping candy chocolate seeing as you ask) and we set about scanning the  celestial heavens for direction. By which time the moon was definitely not where it was before. Search and Rescue and Prof were particularly astute in spotting shooting stars although Prof, choosing a horizontal point of observation, was almost trampled after the call of on on.   After a long uphill slog we came to a four way split but before we set off in completely the wrong direction here came Comet Skidmarks from the very same. Did anyone see him at the Hash Rest? Me neither. And so we emerged into the surreal environs of a shopping “centre” and just as Madge was warming to the theme we were back to find Desperado propping the bar and looking like he’d just emerged from a week of wild camping.

On on,
Smittie