April 2019

1133. 1st April - Captain Colon, Three Horse Shoes, Brimington
1134. 8th April - Pingu, The Wheatsheaf, Baslow
1135. 15th April - Jon, The Fox House, Burbage
          22nd April - Bank Holiday
1136. 29th April - Twinkle Toes, Tree Hugger and Big Daddy's Daughter.

March 2019

1129. 4th March- Shunter, The Horse and Tiger, Thorpe Hesley
1130. 11th March- Monty's Batman, The Royal Hotel, Dungworth
1131. 18th March- Copper Job and Crystal Tips, The Scotsmans Pack Inn, Hathersage
1132  25th March- Sticky Shaft, The Strines Inn. Tune in for "Strines part 2 - Sticky's Revenge"

#1125 The White Swan, Dronfield

Hare: Desperado

Could there have ever been more anticipation for a Monday Night hash,  the conclusion of trouser gate, Desperado’s annual first hash,  would there be any heather? Dronfield had taken it’s fair share of hares in the past;  Captain Morgan, Spiv, surely it would not master our Desperado…

A decent turnout assembled at the White Swan; a good mix of regulars, 3 newish hashers and 2 dogs.  It was a fairly pleasant evening in comparison with the Siberian conditions we had faced in the week previous. Shunter had pre-informed us that he would be late and requested especially neat kicked out checks so he could catch us up, a request to which we duly obliged.

The clock hit 7.47 and 38 seconds and were off under the bridge towards Dronfield’s own spaghetti junction, a  complex crossing which involved reaching the painted island and checking in 5 directions for oncoming traffic, like a big game of Frogger.

Fortunately none of us were squished and it was on on up Callywhite lane. We ducked into the newly refurbished park where there were some comments of admiration for the clean looking toilet facilities. From there it was on-round and back to Callywhite lane.

We then took a left up a muddy holly infested path, led by Monty and his side kick. After a couple of falsies we came out at a small farm and headed towards coal Aston, at this point there was some debate as to which lights were Sheffield and which were Chesterfield, gadgets were brought out, roars of disapproval were heard.  All this was forgotten when we came across the M&S hash treats, thanks Desperado!

We then headed back on to terrain more familiar i.e. muddy fields. One of the newer hashes commented on how it was nice to be out with a good group of runners who knew how to set trails and jokingly asked if we had ever caught the hare…not often I replied.

At this point my phone began ringing, it took about 30 rings for me to answer, during which time we demonstrated our poor long jump skills across a one metre stream.  Anyway back to the call…who could it be be??

‘STOP, STOP, STOP!’, cried a panicked Desperado.  There then followed a jumbled directive; ‘Field of Bulls’ ‘Angry Farmer’ ‘Hold the hashers’ !  Looking around we could see a torch light heading back towards us.  Needless to say the farmer had offered the choice of continue and be killed (by the bulls) or turn back.

There followed another long jump competition over the stream and a scattering of hashers….Enter The Smittie and his OS app.  Gradually all the hashers gravitated away from Desperado towards our new master.  A downtrodden Desperado followed on towards the next field, which was demarcated by an electric fence….what could go wrong?  As Dan dragged himself on all fours up the banking, through the mud and under said ‘lecky fence a stray bum cheek happened to touch the live wire, there followed a shriek.
I’d like to think that the belly laughing by a few of the hashers was a shock reaction to Dan’s horror but I have my doubts.

I struggle to remember much after that but do know we relied on some of our Silver Hashers to guide us home.  The pub was nice, a spare box of M&S treats was produced and the rest was consigned to hash history.

On on, Sticky Shaft

February 2019

1125. 4th February - Desperado, The White Swan, Dronfield
1126. 11th February- Mincer, The Derwentwater Arms, Calver
1127. 18th February- Uglyman, The Gate Inn, Overgreen
1128  25th February- Fast Eddie, Old Horns Inn, High Bradfield

#1122 Two Sheds, Crookes

Hare: Skidmarks
A healthy turnout of about 20 hashers gathered at the Christmas Hash crime scene in search of clues as to what happened on that night. Some appeared not to have learned their lesson, notably Sticky Shaft who downed a pint of Amber. Crystal Tips represented Derbyshire.
A confusing start set the tone as we eventually headed in the anticipated direction of Rivelin Valley, although that was destined to remain tantalizingly out of reach for some considerable time. Firstly we had to unfathom a falsie extravaganza that had us spread about in little knots of hashers with shouts of “On On” echoing round the valley from all directions. Clearly a run that had been set in daylight, as admitted later by Skidmarks. The pack eventually disappeared towards Bell Hagg leaving your scribe heading to Malin Bridge.
Order was restored on Hallam Edge before we plunged downhill to Rivelin. Shunter was given signal priority but such was his acceleration that he came off his bogies. The trail then led across a long lost dam and down to the top edge of the riverbank before turning back up to where Captain Colon had led a large pack of SCB’s. At least they waited for us.
Naturally, on seeing a sign saying “Footpath Closed”, we ran past it to emerge at the bottom of a long uphill towards Bole Hills, at which point mutineers broke off to make a beeline for the pub. If they thought they were going to snaffle all of Batman’s birthday cake they were wrong. There was enough for those who persevered and found the correct trail through the allotments and it was delicious. But who was this absent hasher modelling his Christmas gansey  and propping up the bar in company of the hare? Step forward Captain Morgan.
On on,
Smittie

January 2019

1121. 7th January - Smittie, Wisewood Inn, Loxley
1122. 14th January - Skidmarks, Two Sheds, Crookes
1123. 21st January - Pingu, Norfolk Arms, Ringinglow
1124  28th January - Captain Morgan, The Sportsman, Lodge Moor

December 2018 runs

1118. 3rd December - Monty's batman, The Angler's Rest, Bamford
1119. 10th December - Crystal Tips, Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese, Castleton 
1120. 17th December - Christmas Hash, The Ball, Crookes ;        Theme=Movie Characters. 7.15 for 7.45 start. Curry at Jaflong.
24th December - Christmas Eve (No hash)
31st December - New Year's Eve (No hash)