September 2018 runs

Remember a headtorch!
1105. 3rd September - Skidmarks, Miners Arms, Eyam
1106. 10th September - Soggy Bottom and Search & Rescue, Yorkshire Bridge Inn, Ladybower
1107. 17th September  - Desperado, Miners Arms, Dronfield
1108. 24th September - Shunter, Rising Sun, Abbey Lane

#1106, Yorkshire Bridge Inn, Soggy B and S&R

Hares Search & Rescue + Soggy Bottom kept us fairly local ensuring a double figures turnout including local celebrity Donkey’s Ass.  Steamy knickers, Crystal Tips and her previously assumed imaginary friend Lizzie emerged as if by magic from a car in the corner of the car park. Hannah also appeared which begged the question were there were any NHS staff left in Sheffield or were they all out hashing??

Meanwhile back in the car park what had started as a dry evening in Crookes turned into a rainy one in the shadow of Bamford Edge and Win Hill…probably all the better for the thirsty looking reservoir.

We established that no one else would be coming by casting a few glances around the car park and proffering a few muttered opinions then we were off,  a bit of insider knowledge led us to check left rather than right and we were soon legging it across the top of the dam wall towards an ‘X marks the falsey’.  Back we went down the side of the reservoir (the past scene of some Hash Sledging) towards the River Derwent.

We crossed the bridge onto Car Lane whereby it was clear that Skid Marks was in full on checking mode, namely due to his torch battery power being low. As we headed left then right up the hill your scribe stayed at the back listening to Mr Legon advising not so imaginary friend Lizzie on her PhD research, Monty was shaking his head.

By this time we knew where we would be headed and zig zagged our way up the hill. Desperado and Mincer were heavily involved in a chuckle brothers style dialogue about how long the spine race was, this involved throwing seemingly random numbers at each other, there then followed a sub debate about whether Desperado’s mate Mick had done the full spine or the half. [The half at a mere 108 miles - Ed.]

The summit was in sight, but with the weather closing in would we make it or have to turn back?  (pause for suspense) Of course we made it and found an array of hash treats waiting for us, more than we could be consumed in fact.  I did suggest that the remainder be shared out in the pub but this fell on deaf ears.
Q: How many male hashers does it take to pack the remaining snacks into a size suitable for a running rucksack?
A: Quite a few….but with a very clear three step directive from donkey’s ass this was achieved…without any questions…or complaints…for no one dared speak of the matter again.
To avoid the onset of hypothermia Mincer and Skid Marks set off early for a run around, we eventually prized ourselves off the mountain and set off to join them…had they gone the right way? (Rhetorical Question).

We then headed towards Castleton, Will and Monty fancied a detour to Hope but group-think soon set in and they rejoined the pack.  A sharp right and some mild heather bashing led us to the woods and another sharp right took us at some pace along the fence which required some ducking and diving between felled trees.

Until the next check we had navigated fairly well but something had to go wrong, over confidence, lack of navigational sense or had a mutiny set in?  There followed a Spanish style inquisition as to who had actually seen two blobs of flour…no one stepped forward so back to check we went.

Back ‘on on’ we headed down the hill towards the reservoir, yours truly stubbed his toe in a scene reminiscent from the football match in Kez. As we reached the reservoir we knew our hour or so of joy was coming to an end, there followed a pacey jog back to the big plug hole and left onto the dam wall whence we began. The lights of the pub drew us in where we were greeted by our Fresh Faced hares (still no sign of the remaining hash treats).

A thoroughly pleasant Hash was the general consensus!

On On,
Sticky Shaft

October 2018 runs

1109. 1st October - Steamy Knickers, ?
1110. 8th October - Smittie, Hammer and Pincers, Bents Green
1111. 15th October - RED DRESS RUN! Captain Colon, ?
1112. 22nd October - Prof, ?
1113. 29th October - Shunter, ?

Hash #1103 Strines Inn, Sticky Shaft

A Teessider’s view.
About 16 summer survivors gathered on a promise of the pub kitchen closing at 9. Was this a hint of a hash of old, a quick jaunt through the woods followed by a hair raising submerged tunnel, two sneckies  and back home in time for Twin Peaks?
We welcomed some new footprints and a retread in the form of Prof’s old mate from Huddersfield. Soggy Bottom’s Bairn and two medics from Dundee who will now be forever known as The Beano and Dandy. And the Peacocks.
Cpt Morgan giving firm instructions not to go near the car!
A punishing falsie followed by much milling around on the main road was mocked by the chattering of a Hedge Cutty before we found the true trail behind the bridge over Strines Beck. On up through a cleared forest that was overrun by flies brought us to a standing stone and a proper path. The Bairn was inches away from finding the true trail again after much milling around in the woolybacks. This brought us to the Hash Rest and piles of assorted sausage rolls to fortify us for the short run to the pub. Or so we thought. We emerged at the top of Thornseat Moor to a splendid vista. I swear I could just about see Doggy.
"Can't be far to the pub now..."
The first clue that all was not well was a sheep skull mockingly placed on the track; then after a free run down a green alley we passed a very dead looking Spuggy Hawk before plunging into the very dark woods. Emerging blinking onto Mortimer Road the more experienced of us tried to head back to the pub but were dragged back by the cry of on on from the usual suspect, Uglyman, heading down to Hallfield House. By now the evening star was twinkling and most of us hadn’t bothered with headtorches.
A beautiful sunset heralding the need for headtorches once more!
All would have been fine if we had carried on up to Brogging End and the road but Sticky had a Twist and we set of across the dam to find an innovation in a “Hash Hold” Then we had to negotiate the banks of Strines Ressa, which had more clemmies than Brighton Beach. Who mentioned a swim? Nobody.
Nobody thought the hare had a clue where he was heading at this point as we followed Monty Dog and scaled fences and walls, though the mood was lightened when Uglyman fell through one. And suddenly we were back on the road and in true hash fashion returning in the opposite direction from whence we had sallied forth only to find the kitchen had closed an hour ago. So no prospect of a Parmo then?
Afterwards Sticky Shaft confided that he’d intended us to go to the Sugworth Tower, so perhaps it’s just as well he got lost.

Sneck = Door or window lock, hence Snecklifter is a beer
Bairn = Young Un
Hedge Cutty = Wren (short and stubby, after St Cuthbert)
Woolybacks  = Countryside, or a person from say, Hathersage
Doggy = North Ormesby, a suburb of Middlesbrough known for its Doggy Market
Alley = Back Lane
Spuggy = Sparrow
Ressa = obvious
Clemmy = stone
Parmo = basttered chicken schnitzel served with b├ęchamel, melted cheese and lots of chips
On on,

August 2018 runs

1102. 6th August - Trunks, The Robin Hood Inn, Baslow (Pub closed, BYOB!)
1103. 13th August - Sticky Shaft, Strines Inn, Strines
1104. 20th August - Fast Eddie, The Moon Inn, Stoney Middleton
          27th August - bank holiday

July 2018 runs

1097. 2nd July - Shunter, The Barrel Inn, Bretton
1098. 9th July - Cpt. Colon, Devonshire Arms, Peak Forest
1099. 16th July - Rawhide, Shoulder of Mutton, Bradwell
1100.  23rd July - Fast Eddie, The Gate Inn, Overgreen
1101. 30th July - Desperado & Suyin, The Angler's Rest, Bamford

#1096 The Millstone, Hathersage

25th June 2018
Another superb midsummer hash laid out this time by Monty the dog and his faithful companion Will. Hathersage is a gem at any time but on a beautiful summer evening it is absolute heaven. Will had chosen some super paths through shady woods and across sunny fields where the hay lay cut and glistening. At times it looked as if we would reach the summit of Stanage or perhaps Higger Tor but then another check back would send us spinning down hill again. And above, the sky entranced with its clear blue and salmon and its cotton trails and everyone was in high spirits.
We had been promised a hash swim and everyone was keen to reach the water. “Are we there yet?” was the cry each time we crossed a stream or passed a puddle, and Desperate Dan even suggested a trough in a field might fit the bill. But at last the Mill Pond was in view and in a blink of an eye running tops were cast aside and all was splash and “Jeez, that's cold!”. Fast Eddy was first in but only just. What is it about Sheffield hashers and water? Trunks lived up to his name with a perfectly chosen pair of swimming pants, a sort of cross between a pair of curtains and a Californian beach barbeque. Soggy Bottom went for the frilly knicker look but only by accident, apparently.
Then someone rescued the semi submerged hash treat bag (nice touch, Will) and everyone was out on the bank again, shaking themselves off and devouring the delicious treats. What larks!
Off with us again and downhill towards the village before the midges could do their worst. Next stop Ali Bongo's bean patch where teams of hashers dashed here and there carrying water from the river to drench the thirsty veg. You don't get that in a Saunders Mountain Marathon.
So, happy home to the pub to enjoy a pint as the sun finally set. Anyone for a chorus of Jerusalem?
On on,
Captain Morgan

#1095 Packhorse Inn, Little Longstone

18th June 2018

The first England game of the World Cup was happily avoided by much of the Sheffield Hash, who set out from Little Longstone as Kane and Co. were enjoying their half-time oranges.

Discussing the footy. Or not...

At the HR - clearly H had just said something witty!

Certain hashers can't resist a wild swim, although Rawhide didn't live up to her name on this occasion. This was a cracking spot, wide, clear and relatively deep - I think I'll be back.

We paused to admire the view and take a quick group photo before heading back to the pub. Smiles all round from a very enjoyable evening (or perhaps expressions of nervous relief from surviving another cow encounter, I can't decide!!).

On On
Fast Eddie

We will remember them

On Sunday 8th July this year volunteers from Sheffield Hash House Harriers will run a 34 mile relay from Edale to Redmires (Sheffield), visiting 12 World War 1 memorials along the way, and laying a wreath at each. The relay will finish at Hill 60 - a training hill used by soldiers before they went to fight in the Great War.
The relay is to commemorate the 100th anniversary of World War One. We feel it is especially important in 2018 to remember those who gave their lives in the parishes where many of us live and work.
One of the memorials we will visit
We have been inspired by Simon Wright's “Do Something Extraordinary” challenge. 50% of the money raised will go to the Royal British Legion and 50% to Horseback UK.
To support us in our challenge visit our donation page.
Want to be involved in the challenge? Look out here for more details soon or contact Spiv.

#1093 The Day of the Triffids

The Packhorse Inn, High Green
4th June 2018

The Hash assembled under a cloudy sky, beginning the evening with the customary debate on whether a headtorch at what is almost a mid-summer hash was really necessary (spoiler: it is). Prof, after a short tussle with a metal post, succeeded in parking up and the hash was ready to depart.

We set off straight into the woods enjoying some nice trails, oblivious to the challenges ahead. After some time we came to the first patch of nettles, a carpet of young potent stingers standing waist high with a just narrow channel forged by our fearless hare. With much cursing we charged through, only to be faced with the next obstacle! The near vertical bank of mud was attacked with enthusiasm and after much slipping and sliding we all made it to the top. Apparently we could have just walked around it but where's the fun in that??

Winding through the forest and ducking the odd fallen tree we ventured through a clay shoot area where Prof, our resident recycler, was unable to resist the lure of a few unbroken clays. “I wonder if these might come in useful” he mused. I wonder…

Before long we arrived at the field of Triffids* we had been warned about. (*a cultural reference to the 1951 post-apocalyptic John Wyndham novel I admit had to be explained to me by a wiser, worldier hasher! Thanks Spiv). These man-eating plants spread as far as the eye could see, reaching almost 6 feet tall. Drawing wisdom from ancient english folklore “can’t go round it, can’t go over it, can’t go under it….have to go through it!” we dived into the undergrowth. Donning our pith helmets we hacked our way through the rapeseed jungle, opening the uncivilised lands beyond High Green to the British Empire. In a remarkable effort of uncharacteristically accurate navigation Chas had somehow managed to tramp blindly through the undergrowth to emerge directly in front of the stile. Bravo!
The Day of the Triffids
Brief respite as we waited for everyone to catch up - woe betide anyone who got lost alone in that field. A shape emerged, exiting the thicket “Ah, Dr Livingstone, I presume?” no, just Copper Job bringing up the rear.

Well the excitement was far from over as very soon we found our way blocked by a large herd of cows with calves huddled around the field exit. Lead by the fearless Uglyman we skirted past Daisy and her mates, successfully avoiding being stampeded by what turned out to be a very placid bunch.
As the daylight began to fade thoughts turned to the pub. A mutinous glance at a map confirmed we had a fair few kilometres left to go...but Captain Colon had more delights left in store for us. As is tradition for a Chas hash we were soon merrily running past a ‘Private Land’ sign...although in a turn of virtuousness he had actually asked permission this time! (Turns out the cheeky beggars had put the sign including “no horses please” on a public Bridleway!)

A turn through some more woods before quick descents along the edges of a couple more triffid fields - their poisonous tentacles doing their best to slow us up.

As the siren call of the pub sounded some of us without headtorches sped off through the half-darkness, at some point missing a left turn an ending up in a housing estate. No bother. Shortcutting through a few alleyways saw us back at the pub.

A great hash enjoyed by all (not least the bemused locals as we piled into the pub) with many a story to tell.

On on!

Fast Eddie

June 2018 runs

1093. 4th June - Cpt. Colon, Packhorse Inn, High Green
1094. 11th June - Desperado, The Crown Inn, Totley
1095. 18th June - Cpt. Morgan, Packhorse Inn, Little Longstone
1096.  25th June - Will, Millstone Inn, Hathersage